Great Burgundies, cause celebre, and their service

The first duty of wine is to be red. The second is to be a Burgundy.
- Harry Waugh

Don't reach for the champagne.

Just this once when you have something to celebrate promise me you will celebrate with a great Burgandy instead.

Of all the bottles one should experience in laying claim to being a person who likes wine, both the reds and whites of this tiny wine region of France are critical to an understanding of the true potential of beautiful wines and great celebrations. These wines are full of never-ending complexities and intrigue. Polished, sexy, solicitous, and unpredictable to the bottom of every glass and bottle.

Now, if you are going to do this, get a really fine bottle. And brace yourself, in recent years the Burgundy market has become heady. At least your first few times, do not bother with the lesser Burgundies, even if you are tempted to walk away with a $20 bottle, you are only cheating your own bucket list. But that's your business in the end. Moving on.

"Above all, the great white Burgundies are stunningly complex. Drinking them can be an exercise in delicious patience as layer of flavor after layer of flavor reveals itself. The great red Burgundies are indisputably sensual. For centuries they have been described in the most erotic of ways, and sipping them, has been compared to, among other things, falling in love. This sensuality extends beyond the wines provocatively earthy aromas and flavors. The top Burgundies, red and white, have beguiling textures that melt or dance upon or explode against the palate in unforgettable ways. Great ones can send shivers up your spine."

- Karen MacNeil, The Wine Bible

When a great Burgundy makes its way into your orbit, do the wine well and be certain you have the right glass: a broad bowl which tapers towards the top. Never hold the bowl of any wine glass cradled in your palm; it will heat the wine.

Red Burgundies are all Pinot Noir; the most finicky creature on the vine yields spectacular wines in this region. Unlike other red wines you have come to know, do not allow these wines to sit about in the air, put your nose in the glass immediately and then drink thoughtfully. No fooling around; you have no time to waste. Burgundies will immediately reveal their character and continue unravel a wild world of flavors as the wine lowers in the glass.

Because these wines are likely to blossom, thrill, and change until the glass is emptied, it is standard practice never to top off Burgundies. It would be something of a gluttonous and unfortunate tragedy. Indeed, the sommelier is not slacking in this case when the wine is allowed to reach the bottom of the glass. Finish your glass, taking your time, have another if you are lucky to have enough on hand.

And when you do, remember who sent you. Cheers.

The ideal gadget

The other day at work I had an epiphany of sorts. No, I it did not lead me to the promised land. Well, I suppose that depends how you look at it: Committed entertainers may feel they too have arrived after reading this post.

In any event, I happened to be loitering in Tasting Room at Chevy Chase (the event site for the launch of the best and hippest happy hour in Chevy Chase, Maryland, and not just because I said so) while waiting for an appointment and had a moment to truly consider these enoteca-style machines we use there, called Enomatic's.



With the use of customer's pre-paid card, they dispense a taste, a half glass, or a full glass of each of sixteen amazing wines from great wine regions around the world. One card can enable a guest to try a galaxy of delicious red wines. There is also a wall-enclosed refrigerated Enomatic self-pouring machine for white wines.



It occurred to me that if I had Enomatic pouring machine's at home it would be a wildly successful conversation starter, no guest would be unhappy with the wine they were served, and the machine alone would make a great wine-tasting theme party.

It seems the kitchen and entertaining gadget guru's have some work ahead to shrink this concept for home party use. I do not care for "wet bars" in private homes (the term alone bringing back the debauchery of those spring "breaks" and the questionable kind of girl who engaged in all that ickiness), although I do not mind a home bar which is relatively cloaked or a small non-nuisance. If this fit in a closet-sized bar, the butler's pantry, or the corner of the kitchen, what have you, it would be a perfect gadget.

In the meantime, I can take the guests to The Tasting Room Wine Bar since they graciously receive private parties. Maybe at happy hour, as I love any concept which begins with the word 'happy' and am more likely to believe that might be the case if it only takes a hour.

Photo credit: Courtesy The Tasting Room Wine Bar of Chevy Chase, Reston, and Middleburg, and The Boxwood Estate Winery.

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Fit for a rodent

Why, in all those nostalgic European travel posters, does the villager carrying a jug of wine hold a chunk of cheese in the other hand? Because after hundreds of years of unconditional trial and error, Europeans came to understand that cheese somehow made wine, especially cheap red wine, taste better. Like milk in strongly tannic tea, cheese tempers the harshness of the tannin in the wine.

(There's an entertaining tip here. As clever caters have always known, no one will notice the shortcomings of an inexpensive wine as long as enough cheese is served along side.)

- The Wine Bible, Karen MacNeil (2001, Workman)

Wine and cheese have been on my mind because I have had reason to look over a great many cheese displays lately (don't ask, I get my nose into a lot of things, curious as a cat...). And frankly, mulling over cheese displays is a lot more rewarding than insipid Mommy-one-upmanship on the local playgrounds. So, I'm not self-conscious.

Cheese. And wine. Good or bad cheese and fabulous or box wine, what have you; in flipping through the Wine Bible I am now clear on why they go together, only in many cases I very much want them to stop going everywhere together. What a colossal unforgivable mess.

Not one person within my key stroke right now does not know what I mean: These aesthetically disastrous mounds of cubed cheeses on displays which are tasteless cost-club hunks butchered into bite-size pieces of ick with a side of grapes and strawberries. I was able to find hoards of these photos from nearly every caterer with a website. Stop them, this is not pleasing. I mean it, stop it right now.

I imagine this creation must be called "Cheese as Landfill" or "Brie Dunes with Ocean of Pepper Jack" ahhhh, the pure genius... Tell me, what one of us hasn't been there and got the old tie or bridesmaid gown in "periwinkle" to show for it, eh?

Had that absurdity appeared at my wedding I would have stood on a banquet chair, holding up my gown while shrieking and pointing until someone determined I was not wailing at a rodent but, moreover, a cheese display only suited for one.

Now then. Whether you or your cater is serving the cheese, the guests are best served when someone takes a genuine interest in finding very good cheeses and not hacking them up into nibbly bits the night before. Cutting the cheese prematurely and refrigerating it is the surest way for it to be flavorless.

There is a better way: Leave the cheese in large hunks, offer cheese knives and allow the guests to serve themselves; You have now avoided the unappealing cheese landfill display and those mealy hunks still taste like cheese. Which is, I assume, the point of all that cheese in the end.

Don't you feel more serene and happy looking at this shot below? Don't you feel some hope regarding the cheese offered? Doesn't it make you want to eat cheese at parties again?


Other useful hunks of information:

A complete list of agreeable pairings is available at Gourmet Sleuth, but generally, these rules of thumb will get you through the pre-party shopping painlessly:

Pair wine and cheese of the same region together.

Pair salty cheese with sweet wine: Stilton with Port.

Pair creamy cheeses with tannic red wines; creamy, soft-ripening cheese, such as red Bordeaux with triple cream brie-types.

Pair acid with acid: Sauvignon Blanc and goat cheese.

Pair rich cheeses with champagne and sparkling wines.

On Burgers, BBQ's, and Bottles

There are a few confusing hostessing scenarios which baffle the mind and the hostess. Chiefly among them is the all-American tradition of barbecue. Presumed to be the easiest of all service scenarios for hosts and hostesses, it is in fact most challenging and not at all a low maintenance scenario. While the food may, in some simplified instances, be an easy hamburger and sausage affair; the dinner, supper, lunch, or brunch service does not fall by the wayside: You are just as obligated to come up with the plates, forks, knives, and napkins of a correct meal service when all will eat at picnics tables as you would be if you were hosting a charity gala at the Biltmore Estate. Your guests are no less worthy of your best kitten-heeled foot forward simply because they are standing next to open flames, are they?

(The subject of whether or not to use paper plates is beyond the scope of this essay. However I can sum up if you wish to know my opinion on the subject: Never. Paper plates and napkins along side plastic utensils and salad bowls?! The name of the hostess is Mrs. Careless Landfill III, maybe? It is easy and attractive for a table to sport reusable, recycled, or biodegradable items if you insist on disposables. Plum Party will put a whole reusable shooting match in a box and ship it to you, no thinking required! No excuses either! This Palm Springs Glamour thing with the melamine is fun though I still get itchy thinking about polyester based products, especially in place of porcelain, but it is appropriate in some instances. Children at the table, for example. And these good folks at Green Party Goods will send you heaps of "paper"plates made from remainders of the sugar refining process that break down in landfill in 4-6 months, which is better than never.)

In many ways, we have come to expect the invitation to a barbecue to mean attending a party in very casual dress and consuming things served from bottles: Drinks and condiments. But bottles, whether they contain beer or ketchup are not acceptable serving vessels unless the guest insists, as some beer drinkers do, on drinking from their bottle. They must be offered a drinking vessel, preferably a glass or in the event of a world ending glass delivery strike, (I cringe as I type it) a cup.

Furthermore, ketchup, mustard, relishes and the like are also correctly served from bowls or some other effective, artful, or precious vessel, with an appropriate service utensil such as a smallish spoon, relish fork, or some other lovely but ditsy means of moving said ketchup to said dog.

I will no longer be invited to plenty of households for mentioning the above but it pays to be quite fearless on this subject: Many people with creative spirits and lovely manners might be encouraged to pull together their best party yet.

I caused myself a problem inadvertently during my dinner party this past Saturday: At the last moment before dinner I hunted for my relish tray and condiment bowls. I thought I had them somewhere mind you, under hill and dale in the storage place (The garage? The pantry's? Ugh!). I was having a barbecue of sorts and serving the $50,000 Burger which readers of the Blushing Hostess may remember fondly, and it occurred to me that I had no vessel of the right size in which to place each condiment on the table.

What a difficulty I can be to myself at times.

It occurred to me a moment ago what became of my three bay condiment tray: I off'ed it to the blissful land One Hostess's Trash... in hopes it would become the treasure of another, more rustic, possibly Alaskan, hostess. You see, it was one of a few serving vessels I have found to be hive-provokingly annoying, practically stupid. Once the condiments were in the tray, it looked very pleasing but at the literal bottom they were preposterous. I was always careful to place a good deal of each condiment in each bay praying all the while that the guests would never get to the bottom of the tray.

It never happened. No guest ever scraped against the bottom of the tray with the serving spoon to discover on the bottom the laughing, ney, cackling, moose painted on the bottom of this otherwise gorgeous relish tray. I could tell you a long story about how this questionable piece of wildlife paraphernalia fell into my hands, a girl clearly not worthy of either it's hokiness or collect-ability, but it involves taking an ill-advised stand for alcohol imbibement in Utah and my subsequent adventure through the airport gift shop. Originally, I intended to bring the moose relish tray to to my Mother. Surely, there must have been some moment of greatness when I saw the underappreciated and endlessly useful future of the vessel in one of the great hostesses' homes.

I don't remember that moment specifically and I never did have the nerve to give the cackling moose to another person fearing what their retribution might be. Being a person genetically programmed to avoid waste, I forced myself to keep it, move with it four times, and use it, each time dutifully creating more waste by squeezing much more ketchup into the thing than we could possibly use. One day, I placed it into the Goodwill bag with an unsure hand. I felt wasteful and foolish, to have bought it to begin with and to compound my offense by giving it away. It must be useful to someone, went my logic, serve well, you hysterically happy moose, I said as I shoved it to the bottom of the donation bag.

So it is gone. Somehow in the meantime, the task of looking for a replacement escaped me. Saturday night I was forced to resort to sweet but oversized bowls for the condiment service. I was not going to resort to bottles on the table. Why I doubt even Teresa Heinz, who is no doubt very proud of the family ketchup empire, would agree to place a plastic bottle on the table. Even pride has its limits.

Now is the time to move on the relish tray issue. There are a couple of so-so candidates on the market at the moment, none of them as original as my moose but worthy, at least, of placing on a picnic table or buffet. Another fine solution is my local antiquities dealer or thrift shop, people are never through rifling through their relish trays and sending them over to the Ladies Club shop. I will eventually find something that suits my taste and avoid relish-cloaked dinner foods until then.

The bottle issue extends to beverages as well. Here is a place where it will be harder, through no fault of ones own, to reinforce good manners: Some people like to drink beer from bottles. Your party will not be enjoyable for them if you do not accept this preference. This is no time to leap from your seat, sidle up behind the offender, and whisper in their ear something gracious and clear regarding the bottle issue. You may only do that kind of thing when the offense is greater than the party iteslf: Throwing food or using the WC with the door open. No, I am afraid you have to party on bravely or prevent the issue altogether.

But how? How will you head off some of these sworn bottle drinkers? There are a few clever tricks to consider here and it depends what kind of party you are having. (The trouble is entirely worth it if there are to be cameras in attendance. Never photograph your guests holding alcoholic beverages. It does not make a good photo, memory, or politician. More on this at a later date.) These are some potential options:

A. Get a keg and conceal it properly: Kegs are a useful and completely acceptable means of serving beer at a party, though the keg should not be apparent. A "barrel" as it was known at Providence College (The Hostesses fine Alma mater) is not a festive decoration. Put it under a table or behind the bar.

B. The Old Two Handed Drink Service: If you know a person to be a bottle drinker, hand them the opened bottle and the cold, beautiful pilsner or glass at the same time (I do not advocate mugs for, ah, anything, come to think of it.) in the hopes that they decide to use your fabulous glass. If they don't, move on, Precious, life is almost too short to worry about it.

The photo below is a ginger beer service recently employed hereabouts, you see the idea, the glass needs to be as or more enticing than the bottle:



C. If it is a self-service bar, line the pilsners up directly next to the beer on ice, making it completely impossible to ignore. Likewise, wine of each variety next to it's paired glass. Mixed drinks next to the liquors. And so on. (Not unlike the above photo.)

D. Your caterers' bartender will see to it that it happens: It is gratefully rare that caterers will allow bottles into service, it makes for perfectly awful photos and makes their event less polished and glossy.

You may be thinking that you do not have enough glassware to manage serving everyone at your upcoming party and you cannot afford a caterer. Let's devise some other lovely solution then: What say you call a party or equipment rental company and tell them you are swinging by to pick up a dozen of each sort of glass you may need to rent for the weekend, to be returned on Monday? It is a good deal less expensive than buying this glassware if you did not receive it from your registry gifts and in some cases you will not even have to wash them. Just return them all as agreed.

Oh, if it could all be so simple. What a wonderful world it might be.