Thursday, September 17, 2009

Etiquette Challenge Workshop: Weekend guests and the games they play

Guest towels, Leontine Linens

Dear Hostess,

My Husband and I have a country home north of the city in your neck of the woods. Frequently we invite several couples from the city to join us for a weekend or an overnight. Occasionally a guest will ask who else is invited and seem to weigh the invitation based on the other invitees. Is this good manners? How do I answer without ruffling feathers?


Elizabeth Jane

Please leave a comment below solving our query and send any etiquette challenges to


Erin said...

It seems as though the guests could be showing bad manners if they are asking as a condition of accepting the invitation. It would be like asking about the menu before deciding whether to come to dinner or not. However, if they've already showed enthusiasm about coming for the weekend they may be asking only out of curiousity or so that they can better look forward to the fun you'll have. I'd be careful about asking friends with tension between them on the same weekend. It could be quite uncomfortable.

Suburban Princess said...

I get this question from time to time and I just reply with 'We dont have all of the rsvps in yet so I really dont know'. If they tell me they are coming and then ask, well that's a different story!

LPC said...

I would pretend I didn't notice they were behaving badly. I would let them know who I had invited. I would see if it had an impact on their behavior. If yes, then at another time, I would ask them why they ask. If it is something I can understand, a personal issue with another guest, etc., I would say thanks for telling me. If they can't give a good answer, I'd just cease to invite them.

EntertainingMom said...

I hate people like that! I'd probably look her in the eye and ask "Does it really matter?" And then maybe I would even call her a rude Bitch behind her back!

LOL... I wouldn't really. I always try to plan my parties and get togethers with people who know and genuinely like each other, or people who may not know each other, but have a great deal in common.

Truth be told, I am not sure this question has ever been asked of me.