Monday, September 8, 2008

The Hostess Squeals with Glee and other important headlines of the day

You! Stop! Right there.

You know who you are (the trouble is, you may not be reading this blog. If you are not, I hope a Good Decorating Samaritan (GDS) grabs you by the back of the collar and thrusts your cloud-dwelling nose into their laptop screen - in a perfectly mannerly way, naturally). You have been dawdling about your house trying to think of how to fix your decor, bring some decor, or stop yourself from indulging in any more bad decor. Until now, you have been unstoppable for reasons beyond me, but which I have heard tell of because I am well-informed. They may include but not be limited to:

1. You do not live close to any of the following design-related resources: ABC Carpet and Home, Savannah College of Art and Design, MOMA,, West Elm, Ikea, Target, Barnes and Noble or even the ever-loving periodical area of a public library.

2. You think a blog is something the car wash needs to remove from your windshield.

3. You think "designing" is overrated and prefer to go to Seaman's and buy a suite of furniture.

4. You are a bachelor.

5. You are next to broke.

6. You are flat broke.

7. You never have people over and think decorating is pretentious anyhow.

8. You think stuff made with pastel colored artificial flowers and glue guns is decor.

Oh! No, no, no, mon cher! Right so, you may have to rustle around and dig up some old pieces, upholster them, or spruce them up with paint or a new finish. You may have to spend some time in the $3 clearance isle at Homegoods (see you there, sassy decorating insider that you now are!) but take one look at this house made of ingenious and largely grossly inexpensive creative solutions and touches, and quit your belly-achin': Decoratin' ain't just for rich girls any more.

Disclosures: I read The Love List. I read Elements of Style. I am biased in this reporting because these blogs have made me a better person and a more capable hostess. Say what you want but for goodness sake, do something about that sofa!

1 comment:

Hooked on Houses said...

Hilarious! Loved this post. I'm off to rustle up some old pieces to upholster and then spruce some things up with paint. -Julia :-)