Subtle Distinctions in the Linen Drawer

One of my favorite magazine photos of this holiday season is a shot in Domino, December '08 of many and varied cocktail napkins laying about on a silver tray ready for guests to grab one as they leave the bar to mingle. They are in different shades of white or ecru with a number of trims, embroideries, and monograms. All were neatly pressed and thoughtfully arranged.

This reminds a host that they need not become too focused on a matchy-matchy presentation: Each napkin is lovely on its own merits, well cared for, and clearly precious to a long time linen collector. Who would ever miss a stack of a hundred identical hemstitch squares when all those little beauties have been offered as both a practical coaster and a small pieces of handworked mastery to admire?

A cocktail napkin refers to a single layer of fabric, normally a 5x5" square or circle or close, and not a quad-folded small napkin: That animal is in fact a luncheon or dessert napkin. These are used interchangeably, though technically not accurately, all over in these times. In fact, I note both Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn calling their dessert item a "cocktail napkin." No, indeed. There are two practical reasons not to be bothered with dessert napkins for cocktails:

1. Dessert napkins are a good deal larger than cocktail napkins and require pressing, starching, ironing, and folding on three turns to arrive at a pressed quad-fold. Cocktail napkins, by comparison, take only quick swipe or two of pressing and often do not require starch. Do save yourself some time and work and see below for a comparison.

2. Secondly, a quad-folded napkin puts four layers of fabric beneath a glass and in some cases, the embellishment as well. As attractive as this looks, it is an unstable landing pad especially for long stemmed glasses which are top heavy on their own. To create balance under glasses and prevent wobbly stemware from toppling at the first hearty laugh, use a true cocktail napkin wide enough inside the hems for the bases of all your glassware patterns.

Below are a number of fine options available on the internet with a quick search. However, the best linen napkins I have found, of every variety, have been at antique fairs (I am partial to Charleston and Brimfield) and thrift stores everywhere. You have to be willing to go through piles of old linens but it will be time well spent: There is always something to see, learn, or appreciate in a stack of age old handwork, even if none of it is a taker for your taste
or need. And like anything vintage, if you find something you like, don't worry about the monogram: Often, that work is the beauty of thing, and everyone knows as many monograms converge as generations and offspring in a family tree; no one cares about that at all.

Whether you buy new or vintage, buy the ones you adore when you can. Don't wait for a moment to need them. Fates willing, a day will never come when you cannot find a use for a napkin and they are certain to be impossible to find the moment you need them.

Oval Single Monogrammed Cocktail Napkin, $60 set of 12, Gracious Style Fine Linens. From a new perspective, these are lovely.






Sferra Hemstitch Cocktail Napkins come in 16 color choices, $16 set of 6, Bergdorf Goodman sure to please everyone who wants matching, straight forward things and a great hostess gift.


Hemstitch Cocktail Napkins in white, $15 set of 12, Bumble Bee Linens. A reasonable price for new and another greaet gift. Easy peasy to care for and iron.


Dot cocktail napkins, $15 for 12, Bumble Bee Linens. Just as easy with a bit of non-glass tumbling embellishment.

The napkins below are luncheon or dessert napkins (if dessert is served in a location other than the dinner table, in which case, the diner keeps their dinner napkin). advertised as cocktail napkins, look carefully at all the pictures you can before buying on the internet.


Vintage luncheon napkins (advertised as "luncheon/cocktail/ dessert"), $20 for 10, Ruby Lane

11 vintage "cocktail" napkins, Trocadero/ European Market, $75

"Bedford," generally

Bedford, New York is, or, er, was a small town. It is comprised of three hamlets: Katonah, Bedford Hills (aka, "the hills"), and Bedford Village ("the village" - now you are in the know). Only a few short years ago you would never have heard of Bedford. It was not the sort of place which relished attention, let alone publicity, of any sort. If you were famous or infamous, no one cared. If you were a smidge eccentric and your tweeds always reeked of camphor, no one stared. If your oil coat and field boots were a bit born, you belonged.

That is where we come from. I am proud of the town it was and the fine people I knew growing up there. I will defend them to the teeth, even in of jealous, angry, Westchester-haters. That is where I am from and the people who molded my understanding of community. They, and the bones of that great town, are precious to me.

Time passes, things happen everywhere you go. Bedford is not immune. Let us say things have changed a little. And it is not just the loss of elegance and privacy. It is not just the traffic, and the traffic light on the village green.

It has to do, sadly, with greed and jockeying to be something one is not; what happened in our once sweet Bedford. Never mind Martha Stewart. She is neither an example nor a cause of the pervasive issue which caused a systemic degradation of open spaces, grace, and manners. It happened long before she left Westport. I think it began, while possibly unrelated, around the time Glenn Close moved in, though (don't get me started on that whole hideous Saturday Night Live skit of hers which thoroughly lampooned a small, decent rural town). Anyhow, we live in a town now, only up the road from Bedford, where they are hanging on, through unbelievable generosity and high taxes, to open land and the things we once cherished in a Bedford now long gone. I would tell you about this place but I don't ever want to see Glenn here... you understand.

Once in a very great while, I run into a new piece or a collection which reminds me of Bedford and the inside of the homes we knew as children. While the "Bedford Manor" collection is a bit more polished and less patina'ed than it would have been had I spied it at Sunnyfield Farm when I was coming up, there is still something comforting about it for me. I will not mind having a few of these pieces on the bar and in the bookcase. You know, in the case where I keep A Privileged Life, and Once Upon a Time, the books which hold photos of our old Bedford, should you ever want to remember along with me.



Ralph Lauren, Bedford Manor Fox and Hound Bottle Stopper Set.


Ralph Lauren, Wellington Fox and Hound Bookends.


This photo is a nice throwback for me to a home once known as Bedford Honour. A lifetime ago, it was filled with a spray of prints, tweeds, and old family art. Such a great, real, mix, no? Ralph Lauren Knit Throw Pillow.


While you would be unlikely to find the cocktail napkin in old Bedford, you would certainly have found the tumbler (or several scattered about the house) on a tweed ground. This room smells of good pipe smoke, I just know it. Ralph Lauren Wellington Cocktail Napkin Set.

I found these items at Ralph Lauren Home. And Bedford can be found at Latitude: 41.1852 Longitude: -73.6409, see it before it's gone...