Working rules of party consumption, quite literally

We have a saying at work, it's pretty eloquent. It goes, "I can't eat now or I will be all blah blaaaah, ugggh, with the teeth and everything before I have to talk."

I know what you are thinking: Brilliant.

Both to translate and demonstrate the canniness of this seemingly Bevis-and-Butthead generated sentiment: If you have to speak to a room full of people, I mean have to; because it is, say, your job, then you can't be trying to chew and swallow quickly because you are eating. Or, for that matter, be hammered out of your gourd when you are trying to listen or speak in the line of duty.

One of the ever-present qualities of people who attend many events is that they rarely eat at the event. Sometimes, possibly, only enough to say they have sampled all the food; that is usually my goal. In my hand is water in a wine glass or wine cut with three quarters water, or sparkling water if it is supposed to be champagne.

I took this photo at a food event. The most notable missing object in the photo is the reason the gathering was held: Food in the guests hands. Worth noting, no?

Only once have I run across a bartender who did not understand why I wanted my drink watered down but not looking like a spritzer; At work events, I don't want questions about why I do or don't do anything. I am there to elevator-pitch a product or business. As pleasant as it is to chat about kids and vacations, I am going to be razor sharp conversationally and swing you right back to my charge. Food and wine slow me. I will eat after or tomorrow. But not now.

Likewise, I cannot ask you to wait while I swallow a Peking Duck roll and suck on my teeth for a moment while you wait to shake hands. Seen it, believe me. Oh, have I been there.

I write about food and wine, consequently, I need to taste it all. I generally wander away from humanity to eat. At wine tastings, I am relentless in using a spittoon (indeed, it took me a while accept this was both necessary and mannered).

Like most of my colleagues, I am always hungry and cannot wait to get to dinner but I prefer not to eat while trying to do other things. Between events, our team will often head for a favorite spot and have a quiet meal. Since we are food and beverage people, we do not speak very much at a "family meal" because we are tasting the food, assessing, mulling... in my past life, people just needed a few moments to unwind and did not want to eat alone and meals between events or during travel could be equally as quiet.

Even though guests at the recent fundraisers in New York for the Democratic Party paid $30,400 a seat to dine with President Obama, he ate little or nothing in two events and stopped to take a meal with his staff at the Four Seasons.

Frankly, I understand perfectly. I mean, what if he had spit a chunk of tartare out on a piece of Elie Saab couture at Anna Wintour's place while trying to eat and ask his questions. No, I mean, no, that would not fly.

How do you manage food, wine, and the business?

The Fashionable Party foul

Bottom line: Zac Posen (fashion designer) does not advertise in Harper's (fashion publication). He was advised neither he nor his collection would appear in the magazine as a non-advertiser unless he agreed to to pose in a Sesame Street-themed photo (memo to Harper's: not a great idea). Ah-hem. In any event, here you have the New York Times coverage of the party foul which ensued...




"It was late into the night last April 30, after a lavish dinner at La Grenouille honoring the 100th anniversary of Cartier, when Zac Posen, the precocious designer, took a seat next to Glenda Bailey, the editor of Harper’s Bazaar and the evening’s hostess.



Mr. Posen was upset about what he perceived to be a slight of his work in the magazine, and he surprised the editor — and those around her — with a confrontation. The designer, who confirmed the details of his complaint in a telephone interview this week, was offended that the magazine, which rarely featured his clothes, had asked him to appear in a fashion feature that paired designers with characters from “Sesame Street.”



He was supposed to stand next to the Count, the numerically inclined vampire (who happens to share the designer’s hairline and fondness for wearing capes).



“I didn’t want to model with the Count,” Mr. Posen said. “She said that was the only way my clothes could be in the magazine as a non-advertiser. I think she was surprised I wouldn’t take the part, but I stood my ground and I still do.”



In fashion, it is considered poor form to air one’s grievances in public, let alone at a party, and directly to an editor in chief; and yet Mr. Posen, in his meteoric career since founding his company in 2001, around the time of his 21st birthday, has never allowed decorum to stand in the way of his tongue....



And, in a way, he had a point."

The Trials of a Former Wonderboy, Eric Wilson, for the New York Times



The quality of Zac Posen's work and his star are not in dispute.

As for his perceived error in approaching Glenda Bailey, which was big enough - inexplicably - to merit the above lengthy mention in the Times: How much face time does even a designer of Zac Posen's level get with an editor like Bailey otherwise?

It is unfortunate the issue came up at dinner but it was, in fact, a business dinner on the whole. It follows logic that more than just pleasantries may be exchanged even at large events. I stand with Zac in just dealing with the issue when he had a chance, though "confrontational" is not the desired tone of the conversation, optimally.

A very sucessful fashion agent I know says of difficult issues his agency has to bridge for clients, "We never confront. We never say no. We discuss."