Sunday, November 29, 2009

Mama turns a dark corner

Did I ever tell you my Mama was a nun? For six years?

Leftover's of that level of discipline trickle down. Some part of both the sense of correctness divined within a convent and the how-to's of everything are partial explanations as to how I came to Blushing - with both the centerpieces and the tattoo's.



When it comes to how a thing is done correctly, my Mother is a walking reference manual of wildly arcane and extraneous clippings of etiquette and protocol: How to address a Pope or invite him to dinner. Other uses for challis's. How to spell 'monsignor'. And so on.



When people come to dinner, they know they will get a beautiful meal, presented with the lively vivacious touches of an experienced and elegant hand.

But lately, there has been a shift in business as usual. Lean in, I need to whisper to you: The doors are coming off this thing.

Perhaps we will never know how far things might have gone had someone not rescued my new Sister-in-Law walking dutifully toward the table with a highly questionable tablecloth as my Mother cheerfully noted it was very long. There was a gasp, a low moan, and that poly-blend perma-press job was returned to its chest and the linen produced without delay.

What's happening here? One had to wonder.

But before anyone could stop to deeply contemplate what might be going on with Mom there was the predictable and obligatory black smoke from the kitchen. I think you can just make out the faint puff of smoke below. We only got this first shot off, because you know, we always photo it and then have to put it out or else say how great the dish is when it comes out of the oven.


We've always been pretty quick with table salt but can never seem to lay our hands on the extinguisher easily. Sometimes the fire gets away from us (which actually would make a good caption for many of our family photo's, come to think of it), and that's how we've enjoyed such a warm relationship with the local fire department.

This guy runs the fire trucks in town and is accustomed to being alerted when we are cooking.



He's an old friend and a good guy; Stood next to me in the drive while I was clad in a towel the day the bathroom radiator blew up as I was showering. The fact that every firefighter who worked for him knew the house better than we did remains a point of curiosity. But when you think of it, we've always done quite a lot of cooking.

Anyway, we were all thunderstruck when we noticed this next bit.



then, when this was advocated as a means of teething



and it takes more dogs than family to see to the leftovers



one begins to consider whether the strict mantle of formality has been passed on although these words were never expressly uttered and we were not handed any sort of manual, weapon, or fire extinguisher.

There have been recent warning signs: My dressing-gown robed Mother explained to me at four one afternoon that she had way too much to do and was too boxed-in as a terrier softly licked her foot while she drank coffee and a gadget catalog glided gently from her lap to the floor. Her glare told me my sense of irony did not stand up to scrutiny. "Over-burdened" - conceptually - is in the eye of the burden-holder, remember that. Not the burdened's observant daughter.

So now, on holidays when my Brother bellows, "You're up!" from another room, more than one of us is hoping he is only referring to who will carve the turkey.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

For Keeps

On Thanksgiving, you know where to find us. 10 am, Katonah Park, until the noon whistle blows; Contesting this trophy.



No name of any member, past or current, was forgotten on this 50th anniversary. More than 70 strong. This t-shirt moved me. Every name that means anything to me is there. The columns are filled with what we know of life, love, and tradition. Without them it isn't Thanksgiving, or even home.



This touch football game started small. A few friends walked up to the park to throw the ball around on Thanksgiving morning. Fifty years later some remain, one has passed away, but their children and grandchildren have arrived to fill the ranks. Their names are with the game for time immemorial.

This last group at the bottom is the founder's circle: Pat Coughlin was my Dad. He lived a remarkable life as a contributor in many ways, it still surprises me that of all the places where his name endures, this Turkey Bowl trophy is the only place that truly makes a difference to us.



Each year, we welcome new additions. In these past two years, these gorgeous creatures have joined us, my incredible Sister-in-Law, Amy, and my Daughter. They became part of this clan within six weeks of one another.



We could hug all day and try to catch up, but we are all on the field for a reason. Although, some will argue we are there as much to catch up as for the game. At 10 am, there is a nod and call to the field and it's time.





When the fire whistle sounds, they shake hands and to passer's-by, maybe it looks like a rag tag generational pile-on wiping the Westchester mud from their brow. To us, this is three generations giving their own version of thanks. Do you see that little boy? We'll watch him grow, before we even know what happened he'll be there with a girl, then a baby. We'll talk about how fast it went, and be relieved that our Dad's will live on in him.



Love. We know a lot about it. I think you can sense that.



Committed and sure as the mail.



Van, our lifetime organizer, and preeminent original, was much younger than the others that first year and went on to be a real quarterback. But he is ours first and last. He continues to lead: Van commisioned my Dad's trophy and for the third year, bestowed the trophy on my Brother, Chris.



This is still hard.



That's all I can say about that.



We take a shot like this every year, at fifty years though, the picture takes on new meaning. I have to wonder if the founders ever considered that fifty years later they would still be there, with all of us. They were young, how could they know something in them was so powerful that it leads all these generations back and endures. There is no prodding; No reminders, no guilt, no one is put out. We know we are lucky to have been their children.



This shot would be on my Dad's wall: Two brothers of the original era, one long lost to Chicago, kneeling together on this field fifty years later. My eyes don't see any age on them at all, I think I get that from my Dad. I will take a lasting respect for the sportmanship and dedication of the Muller family to my grave, as my Dad did.



When you take the measure of who we are or what we have accomplished as a family, what we value most is in this one picture, above all else.



We are family. Thankful does not even begin to cover it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Simply Pretty Prints Giveaway


Please welcome Simply Pretty Prints to the Blushing giveaway sponsor group. This talented Etsy design house creates custom handpainted entertaining items and stationery.


Fun and singular items fill Simply Pretty Prints Etsy shop, each hand-painted or printed.

This week's giveaway is this beautiful set of hand-painted appetizer plates.


Check out this pretty shop and be sure to drop by talented proprietor Sarah's gorgeous blog, simply.fun.stuff for updates on her work and other great Etsy designers. You can also follow Sarah's Twitter feed at simplyfunstuff - a great way to keep track of Sarah's new introductions.

To enter, drop in and visit Simply Pretty Print's shop, then just leave us a comment below.

Entries will close at midnight Dec. 2, 2009. Good luck!

Monday, November 23, 2009

I laughed. Then I cried.



I regularly discover things at inappropriate times, with regard to everything and everyone. I cannot possibly ask a battery of questions of each new person I meet, nor can I be expected to climb through a fireplace vent and discover what lies within. Or who, for that matter.

The gas fireplace and blower were blasted into life yesterday which damned to hell a legion of stink bugs making quarters in the vent, I can only surmise. I don't know if you have ever incinerated 1000 stick bugs in your gracious living room just before Sunday dinner but I tell you, at least you can stop ogling Grannies new novelty turkey sweater for a few and snap shots of some truly surprised guests.

Yes, I am sure am sorry you missed it too. It was better, and more unexpected than blowing up a fried turkey. Everyone does that now, no big thing, right? But this was spectacular folly.

This is exactly the reason there is a Thanksgiving run-through around here, to work all the bugs out, which has new meaning now.

Alright, so, whatever. It happens. In Bedford where I was raised, the hostess would not let on anything was wrong while her white knuckles wrapped around her glass stem belying her fury at Luis who obviously failed to double check every last thing everywhere. Did they have a sense of humor, or irony? This is Blushing's living room, after all. I laughed for a good five minutes, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Get the champagne, I said when I finally recovered. Fast. Then: No, no, it's for me.

Seriously, I laugh every time I think of it.

Never let them see you sweat, but be sure they know you can laugh.

Time tells


... what significance the photo of a seemingly innocuous moment might one day have. Both sides of this child's family are riders. At the moment a child reaches to touch a horse for the first time, maybe each generation wondered to themselves if they should show their new baby a tennis racket instead.

But the benevolence in those eyes reaches for us as a people.

I learned yesterday that for parents who know what it will mean, this is the moment - when that hand reaches out - that you decide whether you are all in or not for your child's equine pursuits. When that tiny hand made contact, I bit my lip and felt my shoulders tense.

I can't pick her road for her, or spare her any part of mine. Horse sports are a good ride, but not without hurt and disappointment. What is? This is going to hurt like hell, I thought. I don't truly know what that means, it is just something behind my waking thoughts when it comes to riding: Pain is the heart of the sport. If it doesn't hurt, it doesn't work, trainers always say.

Without nostalgia it seemed like every ride of my own passed before me once. Every conversation with my Dad. Can old saddle sores and rein blisters throb anew? I swear mine did.

But knowing what I do - that she might suffer, that I'd relive it all with first-hand fears - for her and myself, my mind was clear: Okay. Do what you're going to do.

We're not here to stop our children, only to steward, past danger and our ourselves, I figure.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Pleased to meet you. My dog killed your chicken.



And that is how I met my neighbors in the hulking chateau on the hill.

Yah. So that was fun.

When you think of chickens - those white things flopping around in crates about to be table scraps, this chicken was not that sort. This is Middleburg: The chicken was a large, tonally-greyed, luxurious, queen of an egg-layer.

The kind of chicken whose arrival as a chick at Martha Stewart's Cantitoe would have been covered by three TV crews and about whose development we would have read eighty blog entries. At state fairs, this is the bird a lot of guys in CAT hats gather around and say things like, "Now, that's some hen. Wish I had one like that! She's a beaut, Fred, I tell you..."



Yah.

Her attacker, my dog, is black, perfectly fluffy, snuggly, and conversely, very brave and ferocious and is on staff here strictly because he is the last word in security around the place. He does a fine job in that regard: When you see him defending his family, you will think twice about dealing with him. He is not going anywhere except to a taxidermist when his long, long days are done, so don't get any ideas about how to "handle" the problem.

Anyhow, then I met the neighbor's best friend at the market. I introduced myself and she grabbed my arm and said, "Oh, yes! Chicken killer!" Fabulous!, "I can tell you how to fix this, it involves a shock collar..."

This is a problem for which everyone in a rural community has a different solution, like the common cold. None of them are particularly humane for the dog; as if the chicken had it all that great. I am still working that out.

Hunting is in some dogs instinctively. Like any good fox hunter will tell you, a dog is either a pet or a hunter, never both. One lives in the kennels, the other in the house. One is honed, the other has to be trained out of his instinctual habits.

Now, you might be thinking that here in fox country, the dog is not the chicken's only predator and possibly the chicken needs a different pen, which may be true. But you see, this dog of mine, his abilities are remarkable. Why, just today, he caught this Corgi.



Oh, alright. He catches her several times a day.

(That patch above his eye is from misjudging a fence post at top speed on his way to chase a cat. He's having a tough week.)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Gimme some sugar

Nothing worse than lipstick that will not lay flat and even or a wrinkled pout (don't reach for the needle, not that I am against cosmetic correction, only needles; a long story having to do with working in EMS in my college days.). Neither should a confident woman go over the top with product purchases (unless you have been rolling around in the mud at Woodstock for 40 years, then, by all means) but I have found these to make for a much softer pout. And if the Hostess is about anything, she is first and foremost about pouting softly.

Laura Geller, Lip Strip, $16

Lip Strip is sugar based and will take only an extra second to exfoliate all that dead lip stuff ( under-used dermatological term) and feels like a minty dream. You will have to remove it with a little warm water otherwise you will have sugar crystals all over your pretty pout: Not good, especially when it meets foundation make-up, okay? Learn from my mistakes.

Fresh, Sugar Wish Gift Set, $28

Now, I am only telling you this because I love you. If I did not love you, I would not tell you that 1. I use cases of Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment, at $22 a tube which has caused me to develop an angry relationship with those who can take the Chapstick road to happiness and 2. It works better than everything else on the planet. Period.

No, they are not sponsors, but I have an obligation to identify the best-in-class hitters, don't I? Even if it causes a run on my products. Truth be known, my fave Sephora tipster has already let it slip that Lip Strip has run out twice and is as popular with men as it is with women.

This combination under my lip color has worked wonders: Softer, pinker, finer. And now the Fresh Sugar gift set is $28, just in time - I must assume - for my stocking to be well-stuffed. Ah, ah, hem.

What you choose to do with information is up to you.

Holzfurhaus Giveaway at Blushing Hostess

I am very pleased to welcome Holzfurhaus to the Blushing giveaway sponsor group. Proprietor Mark Wilding's skill and tasteful hand in decorative woodwork and finishes is remarkable and singular.

Holzfurhaus has generously created this decorative vessel specifically for Blushing's readership holiday giveaway's and I am humbled by the beauty in this piece. Please leave us a comment below telling us which piece at Holzfurhaus you most enjoyed to be entered in the giveaway to win this piece.



Regal Triumph
retail value $ 65.00
3 ½” Diameter 6 ½” High

Regal Triumph is a wood turned hollow vessel made from walnut. It is topped off with an ebonized walnut finial. The ebonizing process is done with a solution of vinegar and rust applied to the walnut. There is a chemical reaction which turns the walnut dark. This is an ornamental piece not intended for food or liquid. It is finished in an old Louise XIV process called French Polish (shellac) where the finish is applied while still on the lathe. This allows the finished to be burnished into the wood while turning. Then end result is a natural sheen that highlights the wood without making it look and feel like plastic.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Making Middleburg

One thing about my Husband. He rolls elegantly.



These are my first sights of my new home in Middleburg, Virginia - though still a New Yorker at the center of my bone, it is magnificent.



The last time I stood in Middleburg, I was a junior rider here for the horse show. I am so pleased very little changes here.



Makes our move to DC familiar and safe.



Anyway, this is the kitchen: Through the back door. This entire portion of the structure is windows. Behind me here is the family room. Beautiful for the views. but did I tell you how many wall decor pieces came with us and how little storage they will have now? First problem...




The hunt room. I have not hung the drapes yet and the armoire was on its way to the family room. did you notice there are no moving boxes? Furniture relocation not withstanding, this whole place was unpacked when the girls and arrived. That is dedication.



Dinner: On the table when we pulled in. Could have been mutton for all I cared. It was a fabulous gesture. A lovely welcome. We had left Jax behind that morning and been sort of in the wind for four days while things were moved and unpacked. I was ready to be finished with the process.



Welcome to Middleburg, Darlings. This will be a predictably beautiful ride.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hostess gift style: Painted dreams







The finely detailed custom cookie work of the astonishingly talented SweetAmbs for parties, weddings, and showers. So gorgeous they should not be edible.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Yielding the Pen: Reggie Darling, Darlington House

Dear Readers,

In the entertaining blog-sphere there are few more thoughtful commenter's than Reggie Darling. I have been lucky to have the thoughts and remarks of Reggie during my tenure here; when his name is que'd in Comment emails, I inevitably wiggle to the edge of my seat and chin propped on hand, read and reread his valuable anecdotes and suggestions. At once dryly witty, plainly frank, clever, and wise, I have found his thoughts and impressions invaluable and I am so very grateful he agreed to pen today.

Please join me in welcoming Reggie to Blushing Hostess.

Yours,
Catherine



Holiday Entertaining at Darlington House
by Reginald “Reggie” Darling

I recently received a charming invitation from the Blushing Hostess to provide a guest comment on her delightful blog, the Blushing Hostess Entertains. It seems that she had noticed my scribbles from time to time on her blog and elsewhere and was kind enough to flatter me into guest appearing to share my holiday entertaining experiences with you, her gentle readers and fellow travelers. By way of background, while I adore entertaining I am an absolute amateur and am not employed in the hospitality or event industries and never have been (well, with the exception of a revolting week spent during a prep-school vacation working in an ice cream store, mopping floors). I have spent the better part of my career employed in the world of international investment banking and share my life and entertaining experiences with my spouse, Boy Fenwick, an interior decorator with clients concentrated along the Park Avenue/Greenwich axis.



It was only after we bought Darlington, our country house several hours north of Manhattan, that Boy and I started to entertain guests beyond our immediate group of friends during what has become known with increasing solemnity as “the Holidays”. For years, with the growing trend of PC-driven secularization of what had in my youth been known as “the Christmas season”, I had become gradually more uncomfortable with the idea of throwing a large Christmas Party for fear of treading on the frayed nerves of those who didn’t or don’t celebrate that specific holiday for whatever reason.



But lurking beneath the gloom that had descended on me from the relentless drone of those who said it was insensitive to be “Christmas-centric” was the tiny flame of my inner optimist, of that someone deep inside of me that really enjoys throwing a good party, caution be damned! And when I realized that it was actually more convenient for us to throw a large party during the week between Christmas and New Year’s--since we usually took it off from work anyway and most of our friends in the country did too---the idea of throwing a “Holiday” party became much more palatable to me. It was a very pleasing revelation indeed that I could still throw a big party at my favorite time of year and no one could accuse me of being insensitive if I did so when the invitation read “Holiday”. What a relief that was.

And so we started throwing Holiday parties -- Holiday cocktail parties, that is…



The first couple of years we entertained on a fairly modest scale, no more than 25 or so for drinks and hors d’oeuvres. We’d hire a bartender and a local girl to help with the clean-up, but we pretty much did everything else ourselves. Over time, though, our Holiday parties became more elaborate, with others taking on more and more of the responsibilities, which culminated in a blow-out party for 125 a couple of years ago that required a virtual army of caterers, florists, staff, coat checks, and valet parkers to successfully carry off. And succeed it did—it rocked the house! But then the economy came to a screeching halt and it no longer seemed appropriate, or wise, to throw such a bash, what with friends and acquaintances losing jobs and what had at one time appeared to be a clear path to retirement now becoming an increasingly winding, rocky road…



So we scaled back. Last year we decided that we would still throw a party, but it would be more modest, like the ones we did in the beginning. Instead of 100+ we invited 30 or so, and we did as much as possible ourselves. We still hired a bartender and a girl to help out (they need jobs, too), and our handyman directed people where to park, but we did all of the food and drink and decorating on our own. And it was a fun party, too. In fact some of our friends said they had a better time last year than at our larger, more extravagant parties.



And speaking of decorating, while we’ve always put up a tree and decorated the house with greens and garlands, we’ve learned to rationalize that doing so is also consistent with practices that originated among our Druidic ancestors in England who celebrated the Winter’s Solstice long before they had been converted to Christianity. Boy takes firm control of the decorations at Darlington for all our parties, regardless of the season, and really out-does himself at Christmas. We probably have several thousand ornaments collected over the years, almost all of which are vintage, and no year’s decorating theme has yet been repeated. The public entertaining rooms are always decorated quite handsomely for the season but we eschew “Christmas-y” decorations in general and rather decorate our rooms taking our cues from their wall colors and contents. For instance we decorate our dining room, which has goldenrod yellow painted walls, mahogany furniture, black horsehair upholstery, green wooden venetian blinds, and gilt-framed pictures and mirrors with similarly-hued decorations, including a table-top tree hung with ornaments of shimmering golds, silvers and greens laced with brown pine cones collected from our property. To us it says “holiday” and not necessarily Christmas. We also take care to leave the more personal expressions of the season, such as a treasured Neapolitan crèche, in our private rooms.





This year, given that the economic situation appears to be improving somewhat and we really do like to entertain and throw big parties, we’ve decided to ratchet it up a bit, again, and we have begun planning another holiday cocktail party. We’ve already signed up the caterer (that was the first call we made), and the guest list we’ve planned while driving to and from Darlington and our city apartment has grown to around 60 people so far and I expect will expand further still. Boy is already thinking about the decorations (“I’m thinking flowers this year, lots of them!”), and is consulting with a printer for the invitations. Who knows, maybe we’ll get the local off-duty state troopers to do valet parking again…