The Polished Table

"White damask tablecloths and starched napkins - rarely is there an easier way to display luxury. They signal a house where everything is properly run and there's a great attention to detail."
- William Yeoward's Party Pointers, Southern Accents, November/ December, 2008

This is recent evidence that crisp white linen damask is still the most elegant and handsome holiday table covering. As one considers where to begin a holiday dinner or party, the first order of business is how to dress and set the table. The right tablecloth makes a statement and speaks louder than a wealth of other tabletop errors and evils. This seems a fine place to begin decor considerations. Not only because you will need to figure out what goes atop this textile, but also because you will want to have the appropriate tablecloth-saving tools on hand.

The Hostess has mixed feelings about the color white for a tablecloth because it can often lead to impossible-stain heartbreak. I understand and adore tables cloaked in white damask: Linen damask sparkles entirely on its own. It makes every pattern laid atop it look swank and dressy even when they are poor, abused, unpolished silver plate. White linen damask is often considered the gold standard in table covering in well appointed homes because it is unrivaled in textile simplicity and dimension all at once.

If it is the top notch, The Hostess is also attached to the potential silver standard: The colored linen damask cloth. Ages ago, Martha Stewart Living did a piece on turkey red damask for the holidays as collectors pieces: I have to agree that red cloths, both tonal and multi, have a certain warm and glamorous style. It is a blessing of this cloth group that the color disguises many stains as well. I have looked literally everywhere for them since and not found one of the quality that article identified, including a new search for this post. When I do locate a red which can dual with these magnificent weaves below, you will be the first know.

In the meantime, while I know these are costly, you will probably only ever need one if you take care of it. And handle it lovingly you will, because once you find the enchanting damask for your holiday table, it will become a piece you look forward to seeing and handling again and again. I promise you, laying it in a place of perfect honor whenever the occasions merits something magnificent coming to the center of the holiday gathering will never grow old.



Chrysanthemum, Double Damask, Thomas Ferguson Fine Irish Linens


Scroll, Double Damask, Thomas Ferguson Fine Irish Linens


Medici, Gracious Style Fine Linens. 100% linen and machine washable and dry-able!
Floral Essence, Schweitzer Linens

Festival of Trees, a little holiday decorating inspiration

We are lucky in this corner of the world to have Ann's Place, a charitable foundation which helps cancer patients and eases the strain and grief of their families, including our own as they were very kind and endlessly helpful at a time when our family truly needed them. We would be pleased to support them in any way they asked but one of the loveliest ways Ann's Place interacts with the community at large is through their sparkling and magical Festival of Trees.

Ann's Place invites some thirty designers to decorate themed trees to be auctioned off at the cocktail party on the first night of the festival. Typically, they are remarkably creative and (thankfully) helpful in encouraging great ideas for one's own decorating since they are displayed the weekend before Thanksgiving.

Since we are in decorating full swing here in preparation for our own holiday party, we collected a wealth of fun ideas upon which we've still time to act. I thought you might enjoy a short stroll through the festival as well...

Poinsettia, woodland creatures, and pinecones. The more you look at this tree, the more you notice.





Wrapped in million layers of gold.

Lime green's and magenta's were huge, as in this pine cone tree.

Lime and magenta again, this time in one of our favorites of this year: Hydrangea.

Snow tipped with cardinals: A classic with some new woodland twists.

Another one of my favorites, this tree is both creative genius and a confession at all once: The spice cabinet is finally emptied of all those old tiny spice canisters. Genius!

Called the Venetian Table Tree, these were all hand sewn pastry ornaments.

A childrens tree. Adorable and sure to attract Santa!

Up close.

I think all the Festival guests had a good laugh over this creative adventure: The Redneck Tree.

A great idea for outside the house: A small garden trellis adorned with white berries, tonal hydrangeas, and twinkling lights. Great idea!

Into your hands

When it comes time to decide how you will get your party food from buffet to the guests, you have several options but all require thorough consideration:

Appetizer plates are a very nice choice provided there will be a bit of space if a guest needs to put a glass down for a moment in order to eat and hold their plate. Additionally, if you do not have help to clear plates away from every flat surface the aesthetic of the party can take on the less than aesthetically appealing feel of a fete held in the dirty dish bin.

If you have help, you can rent appetizer plates in a number of patterns and shapes from any party rental company usually at a cost of about $5 per dozen to be returned rinsed. If you plan to throw buffet parties of this nature every year or more often, it will be more cost effective in the long run to have your own set if you can store them safely when not in use. Here are some very reasonable options which will pay for themselves after their second use and come in reams of styles for every occasion and style:

Crate and Barrel Appetizer Plates, $1.25 each or $9.95 a dozen right now with free shipping over $100.
Cb2 Square Appetizer Plates, $.95 each

My most favorite little luxury of this season, the stunning Art Nouveau Plates from Pottery Barn, $39.50 for a set of 4.


For the whimsical holiday party. Pottery Barn Graphic Reindeer Appetizer Plates, set of 4 for $36


Colin Cowie's Glittering Appetizer Plates, HSN.com, $39.95 for a set of four


Whimsical Martini Appetizer Plates, martiniart.com, $28 for a set of four

If you are a one person army throwing a cocktail party as many hostesses and caterers are every day, one can opt for a paper cocktail napkin service: Strategically place loads of festive, good quality, color coordinated napkins every few feet on a buffet, next to the canape tray on coffee tables, and in conspicuous stacks throughout the party which is also a wise practice to encourage guests to use them as coasters on the rosewood buffet, good sweet Lord.

So you want to serve something... Party Planning Crash Course Part 3

Alright then, we will be needing something to eat and drink at this party of ours. Whether you have ten or a hundred people coming to a party, you need to create a menu and the food and service ware in advance. If you are a novice at this sort of work, I suggest you consider committing to this at the time the guest list is created and simultaneously drawing up a work list for yourself against a set timeline.

Here are a few tips for first time do it yourself hostesses after you have set a budget for your spending:

1. Create a manageable menu.
a. If you are alone on party day, consider buffets of food served at room temperature which is small enough for appetizer plates or pretty napkins: You will not run out of oven space, burn things, or have to run around with a canape tray.
b. account for your time in a realistic way: Determine how much you can realistically prepare in advance and freeze, cook in the days and hours before advance, and what should be purchased.
c. Be sure you have enough food and emergency fillers (Cheeses, charcuterie, breads, bread sticks, and crackers. If something goes wrong, these will save you a world of heartbreak.
d. As a rule of thumb, plan for 4 to 6 hors d'oeuvres per person. The less the food displayed, the more hors d'oeuvres you will need. If small desserts are planned,
I plan for two servings per person (I can always wrap up the leftovers and send them with the last guests).
e. If you are on a very strict budget, consider more fruit and veg than meats, cheeses, and fishes or use a cost club to help offset these higher costs.
f. Determine what drinks will be served: Liquor is a significant draw on the budget and I am not a fan of stocked bars unless a caterer is involved with a bartender and liability insurance. It easier and more efficient and cost effective to have a signature drink and/or a punch as well as well drinks (beer, wine, soft drinks, bottled water). Just remember: setting up a bar, mixing punch, and heating ciders takes time for which you will also need to account.

2. Determine how all these items will be served and cleared. You may find you need to reassess the guests and/or menu based on these circumstances:
a. do you have enough room to display all the food you want to serve and allow the guests to move about comfortably at the same time?
b. how many plates, glasses, serving plates, and linens you own and your budget to rent those you don't
c. how much space you have to place these items next to buffets and bars and whether you have room for a bussing table which will make an easy location for guests to place their used items once finished with them
d. your ability to manage used plates and glasses which must be removed right away from whatever odd place the guests have selected to place them.

3. Make a list of the rentals you will need: Dishes, glasses, serving platters, coffee services, bars, heating ovens, linens, tables, chairs. Many party rental companies have websites you can review and a seemingly endless array of beautiful touches for your event. Dish and glass rentals make clean up a breeze since only dishes need rinsed before returning. They will also deliver and pick up for an extra fee. Book as far in advance as you can.

4. Consider whether you need to hire help for that day: Servers, kitchen hands, bartenders, babysitters all need to be booked well in advance. While it pays to make contact with a hard working teenager or two in the neighborhood who can work in the kitchen or sit, caters can arrange for bartenders, cooks, and professional servers or you can contact a local favorite restaurant to see if any of their personnel are interested in a side job on a night off from the restaurant. Based on the help you have been able to secure, review your menu plan once again to be sure it remains manageable.

Returning now to our Tree Trimming Open House, the menu has thus far seen seven iterations and will still likely see a fourth passed selection (one fell out when my trial on turning Alinea's Bacon, Apple, Butterscotch literally went up in a blaze of haute glory) as well as a flushing out of the Milk and Cookie Display (easy to make ahead and freeze). Not to mention changes which will occur when our family reviews the food plan, which, for the Hostess is the stress equivalent of a thesis defense since we are serious foodies and/or partyers. We are considering the following as our menu:

Passed:

1. Marinated Mini Antipasto Skewers
2. Mango and Chicken Jerk Tostones
3. Stuffed Mushrooms with Crab and Porcini

Buffet:

1. Savory Palmier, Homemade Breadsticks and Pretzel Display with Pepper Buttermilk Dip and Hummus
2. Spiral sliced Black Forest Ham with Rosemary and Cheddar Biscuits, Peach Chutney,
Mustard Assortment
3. Beef Tenderloin on Caper Butter Crostini with Horseradish Sauce
4. Hasselback Fingerling Potatoes with Blue Cheese Dip
5. Skewered Grilled Pineapple and Bacon Display
6. Shallot Thyme Cheesecake and Crispy Flatbreads
7. Cheese and charcuterie board

Photo: Martha Stewart Living

Dessert Table:

1. Red Velvet Cake
2. Milk and Cookie Display

Photo: Domino

Bar:

Photo: Martha Stewart Living

1. Red and white wine, rose champangne
2. Punch and Broken Leg Cocktails
3. Soft drinks and bottled waters
4. Coffee service

Photo: Martha Stewart Living

The Invitiation

I hear an irresistible voice which invites me away from all that.
- Henry David Thoreau

We've selected our first invitation of the holiday season for the tree trimming held the first week after Thanksgiving. We love it for it's whimsical, old fashioned, and welcoming dashing-through-the snow qualities. We did not want it to be too starched or hard working, a tree trimming just does not need to be so taxing. If I received this invite, I would smile and find it impossible to refuse all that this invitation invites me away from. It brings something warm and endearing to first holiday season plans and sets the tone perfectly. Literally, I heard the song playing as I gazed on the card the first time...

I give you Home For The Holidays which will be provided by Polka Dot Design since I am travelling and they make everything so painless. And yes, we'll be keeping the opening stanza of the song with only a small change to the plaural since the invitation is on behalf of our whole family:

I'll be home for the holidays
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents on the tree
- Bing Crosby, Home for the Holidays, 1943

We're so pleased we found this one among the selections...

The Inviting... Party Planning Crash Course Part 2

Hi ya, Revelers!

Now that we have been through the logistics and wrench-turning of party planning and you have a brief guideline to apply to gatherings large and small...

Thus far, we know about the party in question that it will be a cocktail buffet at home for a tree trimming party. Now, you have to put hands to keyboard (if you are really sharp like my husband's Mom and Grandmother and have Excel sheets of family and potential guests handy at any moment) or, in my case a dull pencil and the back of my cocktail napkin. But, choose a weapon then get naming names and address.

Now look, the real world is not like Real Housewives of Atlanta. If it were, I would have quit this gig and moved to Bermuda long ago. One does not invite people only to have a lackey check a guest list, not find their name, and turn them away at the door. While it is the ultimate in divisive snubs, it is also the ultimate in - you decide: Stupidity, smallness, or tastelessness. Either way, these sorts are not holding any party worthy of your attendance. When you invite people to do anything, for any reason, the best time will be had by all if your motivation is sincere and you are genuinely pleased to have that person as a guest.

Disclaimer: Mistakes have been made. The Hostess knows two lovely people who are married to two less than appealing guests: One is a hideous being when sober but the devil herself when allowed to consume alcohol: Loudly insults others. Falls over drunk. Oh, she is just insufferable. The other partner I mention is insufferable conversationally stone cold sober and a polarizing, offensive guest. They married perfectly well-mannered enjoyable people who we adored having as guests until we realized we were also stuck with their (party fatal) spouses. Seven years ago, when I was younger and more brave, I invited these couples, told the bartender whose drinks to water down, and figured we could handle their issues. Indeed, we were rendered completely incompetent hosts by their antics and no amount of interference helped. It was a mortifying experience for us and for our guests. I am still, all these years later, so disappointed to tell you that these people whom we adore are no longer invited into our home. Not only because we and our guests were gravely insulted and put out, but because these people also have dangerous inclinations towards alcohol consumption: A problem we are not willing to accept liability for should their actions lead to injury to themselves or others at our gathering or on the way home. No, you don't have to invite anyone and you certainly are under no obligation to deal with dangerous guests married to friends. While this is an insult of omission to some, it is far better than a world ending accident for others.

Smaller dinner parties require a good deal of consideration as to the guests in order to keep the conversation lively and all parties interested. Cocktail parties like ours are another issue all together and require a good large large group of likely agreeable types, all of who will find someone interesting to talk to in the mix. Don't get too caught up in this list, but do get hung up on the number you can accommodate and stick to it. Invite as many as the space can handle, not more. Do not assume, in this case, as at weddings, that 20 percent will decline. Plan as if you expect all and downsize as needed.

Got your list? Now you need an invitation. I do love evites but I also adore and save beautiful paper invitations sent with thoughtful stamps through the actual mail. I have a Junior League friend who exclusively uses evites now to put the cost savings into her parties and while many Hostesses of the old and venerable Bedford school will tell you this Internet thing is not acceptable, I dare say it better be! Guests are all over the world for months at a time, an evite will always find them! I can see no reason why you cannot do both if you choose: Send a Save the Date and then send an invitation in the mail.

There are reams of great invitation companies both on the Internet and brick and mortar in towns near you. I like to use a small business in town whenever I can but the downside is a busy season can cause the wait to receive your printed invites back can be three weeks with my vendor. I use www.finestationary.com if the wait is too long, they generally stock most of the invites I have been able to look at in a local store. Seeing and feeling the invite before buying it is key in either case: I want to know it is of good stock weight and that the colors are what they appear on the Internet. This is not necessary for all, I understand, after all, trust is the key in an professional relationship. But once they print it, Dear, you own it so do be careful.

I look for an invitation to be a fun piece of art that the guest will be happy to have on their fridge or memo board for a couple of weeks. I am fussy about color, texture, and size. Nothing should be overwhelming or an eyesore, always graceful, beautiful, and understated. At Christmas, I even enjoy an illustration!

Pencils and cocktail napkins poised? Off we go...

See you for Part 3!

First you scribble, then you build... Party Planning Crash Course, Part 1

Few things are brought to a successful issue by impetuous desire, but most by calm and prudent forethought.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
- Fred Allen



I love everything about the holiday season, right down to Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer and the colorful doorstops. Er, I mean, fruitcakes. Every carol and red ribbon bring back the sparkling magic of our childhood Christmases. Sure, there is rampant, and this season, nervous, consumerism and a few other small, inconsequential unfortunates, but mostly the rejoicing of happy, renewed, twinkling hearts overtakes all that is less than perfect at the holidays.

This season, I will be helping my lovely Mom with a tree trimming party and Christmas Eve dinner. You see, we're on the mend here after several catastrophic family losses. It's time to welcome people back again for something more than a tour of a burned out shell of a house or to pay their condolences regarding our Dad.

The process of planning a suitable location, menu, bar, and serviceware requires thought and patience. While it easy to tell you we will have some people, maybe thirty or so, of a Saturday afternoon, this is unreliable and dangerous information from which to work until all the logistical and strategic ducks are placed in a row, inspected, and taught to quack in gently harmony. It is there, at the logistical-quack stage, that the fevered scribbling begins for this Hostess and many other good, thorough ones. I assure you.

Firstly, fair warning: If you throw parties together at the last minute, call a caterer, because you are in the worst kind of Hostess trouble if you try to tackle this alone a week before. I am not the sort to engage a caterer unless the menu is too high maintenance or the guests too many for me to handle alone. It frustrates me to have them in the house being paid a fortune for things I can do with a bit of plotting and scheming. So let's not call them. I bet we can get this done no problem.

I have some ideas. In this instance, we thought it would be nice to have a four part consideration for the food and drinks:

1. A buffet table of various nibble displays.
2. Some standing or passed hors d'oeuvres.
3. A dessert table or bar.
4. The bar, which will stock a bit of liquor but largely well drinks and the punch
or drink of the day.

In the case of these Hostesses', all of those guesses go into the initial scatter-brained chicken scratch that is my (Hostess) Book: The notebook, the dossier, the guide, however you like to think of it, but it is imperative you have one as well. The Book will prevent you from forgetting set ups, serving platters, food items, hand towels for the bath, and any other small thing you need to scribble down and revisit in order to complete the party and the plan. You can find dozens of party planning checklists online to tuck into your Book if you like, but I find my own lists are more complete, thoughtful, and reassuringly prolific.

I read magazines hocking entertainment advice, and I follow the blogs of other entertaining types. It is concerning how often one is encouraged to fly by the seat of one's pants in order to make the reader feel that entertaining is mindlessly easy. Getting it right is not easy, in fact, I cannot think of one thing done truly well which is easy. Let me manage your expectations now: Get focused and organized. This is not about you, it's about your guests and if you choose to have guests, you choose to work. This is true of every grand dame down to the pizza party at Chuck E Cheese. People do this work because they love it and because it brings them joy to please their guests. It does not seem like toiling work to me, I love it. But I am not kidding myself. It is something to take pride in and do well, not something for cutting corners and blowing off tasks and realities.

Possibly you have hosting a party this season, too. So. Let's get to work. It is my pleasure help you plan your party alongside mine.

Firstly, a party is undertaken from the ground up. Before you can choose the fun items like food, decor, signature drinks, and a guest list you have get your hands dirty with the details. In your Book you need to answer these questions for yourself:

1. Where is the party?
2. What does this location demand?
3. How many guests can be accommodated?
a. Make your notes.
b. Make your preliminary calls and visits.

In this instance, the gathering is at home and probably for far more people than can have a sit down dinner. It is a buffet, then. Since it is a tree trimming in the late afternoon and not occurring at meal hour but it will cross dinner time, the food must be heavy but manageable to serve and in of a size for a guest to handle while standing or mingling. Best to have a cocktail buffet and passed hors d' ourve.

In order to accomplish this, my Book will have answers to the following questions:

4. How will the furniture be arranged to accommodate standing room and three buffet or drink areas?

5. What furniture needs to be stored?

6. Does anything need to be ordered for the rooms from the party rental people?

My Mom's home has a lot of open space for gathering. We will put the buffet on the dining room table, the dessert buffet to the right and the bar further ahead and to the right to keep from having a back up in any one area. Some of the larger pieces will need to move to another room, we will deal with this 4 days before as that is too soon to cook and just long enough to live with the inconvenience.

7. Does the space need any prep work aside from moving furniture?

The house needs to be cleaned top to bottom, no stone unturned. I do this myself as I go and try never to let cleaning tasks get away from me.

If you cannot find time, call a professional. Don't mess around with this. If you work long hours all week an have a huge party on the weekend and think you are cooking too, you will make things too hard on yourself by attempting to clean well too. Make arrangements with a service now, the good ones book weeks in advance.

The Christmas tree needs to be put up in the great room, and baskets of ornaments arranged. All this will be done on the same day.

8. Does the space/house need stocking aside from the groceries?

Now is the time: Check all the cabinets and bathrooms. These are items which will need to be dealt with and you have to find the time:

The Bathrooms:
Linens bought and monogrammed or found, laundered, pressed, and placed.
Two rolls of paper
One good new soap
One new box of tissues
One small stack of paper hand towels (some guests are afraid to use pressed linens)
Small, fragrant flower arrangement

The Coat Closet:
Plenty of good coat hangers

The Guest Rooms:
Bath soap
Shampoo and conditioner
Lotion
Packet of Tylenol
Bottled water
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Bed linens changed
Towel set neatly folded and placed

In the case of my Mom's home, she is ever-ready in this regard and the coats will far exceed the coat closet: We will use the bed the Master as well.

9. Do you anticipate special needs for any of guests which you need to plan for?

Handicap access or assistance?
Are children invited and do you need to designate a playroom and hire a sitter?
Specific seating requirements?

In our case, we have a lot of families with young children and a place we can safely designate a playroom downstairs which will not interrupt the flow of the party. We will hire a sitter to make it easier for parents to attend and because we cannot wait to see how all the children have grown!

Consequently, on the same day the party rooms are rearranged, the same will occur in the downstairs library: Create an open, child-safe place, move plenty of toys there, and be sure we are set up to show a Disney movie.

Now you have the "where" and part of the "how". Making great progress, I say! Once all of this is addressed, you can move on to the more creative and exciting part of a party: Party Planning Crash Course Part 2: Who? What? When?

"Ginger twins": Is this truly a British teapot superstition?

In 1994 Alexandra Stoddard authored a rambling thoroughly self-interested book entitled, Tea Celebrations. Therein, the book claims that it is a British superstition that only one person may pour from the teapot at a sitting. Otherwise, the second person to pour from the teapot shall have "ginger (red-headed) twins." Is this true?

Making introductions

Setting: An imaginary high-ceiling living room. You are a cocktail party guest of a sparkling, tasteful, power-wielding set of hosts who will receive all manner of illuminati to the very room, the very cocktail party, which you are now attending in this magnificent home. And along side you a business associate stands only moments away from needing an introduction to practically every high-ranking shiny-shoe in your line of work and their spouses or partners. Imaginary- you certainly has polished manners and knows how to make introductions! One less thing to worry about.

Imaginary-you knows well as each new group approaches for a small but engaging chat, that there are rules to remember, there are correct steps to the dance of introductions:

Imaginary-you never forgets for a moment that an introduction is a presentation of one person to another. Though rarely does one hear the phrase, "May I present..." that is nonetheless what this scenario is and unless in a very informal environment, one should still present with a title and first and last names, it helps people to sort things out. While some of this may seem old gender rules, call it whatever you want, it will help you cover all the bases without making a misstep.

1. Ladies are always introduced to gentlemen first:
"Mrs./ Ms./ Dr. Alicia Jones, may I introduce Dr. Michael Bradley."

2. In the same gender, a younger person is always presented to an older person first, even if they are separated by only a few years.
"Ms. Alicia Jones - Mrs. Mimi Lyons"
"Master Douglas Fairchild - Mr. Evan Cullen."
"Doctor Tim Jones - Doctor Daniel Evans."

3. Junior officers are always presented to senior officers:
"Lt. John Winter - Commander Mark Heath."

4. Etiquette guides will say that a woman need not rise from her seat when introduced to a man but that the man must rise for a woman. But this is not correct any longer. When you are introduced to another human being, stand. unless physically prevented. Courtesy always prevails.

5. It is always sharp to mention anything the two introduct-ees may have in common or will help them to begin conversing:
"Alicia is my colleague at Baine, from the M&A group."
"Tim is a tremendous tennis player."
"Bob is just back from Hong Kong as well."
"Lee is a Duke alum also."

Happy introducing.